Financial conflict is one of the most common and stressful issues couples face.

Money touches almost every aspect of life—how you spend it, how you save it, how you earn it—and can create significant tension when partners have different beliefs, habits or goals related to finances.

Common causes of financial conflict in couples:

• Different Financial Values and Beliefs:
  • One partner may be a spender, while the other is a saver. One might prioritize immediate enjoyment (e.g., vacations, dining out), while the other might focus on long-term security (e.g., retirement savings).
  • Differences in how much importance is placed on financial stability versus financial freedom can create tension.
• Income Disparities:
  • When one partner earns significantly more than the other, it can lead to imbalances in power or resentment. The higher earner might feel burdened by responsibility, while the lower earner might feel inadequate or guilty.
  • Alternatively, if one partner is a stay-at-home parent or working part-time, they may feel undervalued or frustrated by not contributing as much financially.
• Debt:
  • Whether from student loans, credit cards, mortgages, or personal loans—can be a source of major conflict. One partner may have more debt than the other, or one might feel that they are unfairly burdened by the other’s debt.
  • Different approaches to handling debt (paying it off aggressively vs. taking a more relaxed approach) can also lead to arguments
• Spending and Saving Habits:
  • The way each partner handles spending—whether impulsively or conservatively—can lead to conflict. If one partner constantly overspends or makes financial decisions without consulting the other, it can create a sense of betrayal or frustration.
  • Similarly, if one partner is too focused on saving, the other might feel deprived or as if their preferences are being disregarded.
• Lack of Communication:
  • Avoiding financial conversations or not being transparent about money matters often leads to conflict. This might include hiding purchases, not discussing savings goals, or failing to inform the partner about important financial decisions (like opening new credit cards or taking out loans).
  • Silence around money issues can build resentment over time, and one partner may feel excluded or distrusted.

Therapy can help couples work through money issues. I can provide guidance on how to communicate about finances, handle disagreements and make joint financial decisions.